Wanted: An Organic Spouse

Not me; I am settled! I mean you, because are young, single and available. Thing is, people are getting increasingly dissatisfied with their bodies. No thanks to the media that is busy making people in the image of the film stars, super models and beauty contestants that is the fare and hallmark of popular culture. And couch potatoes do not just watch, they try it at home; damn the admonition that prefaces difficult tasks and challenges performed by professionals and experts. Any wonder the epidemic of bulimia and anorexia as well as intensive exercise regiment so that one can have the figure of a model; preferably 8 for females and 6 pack for males.

Manufacturers of slimming pills and medicines as well as muscle building concoctions and the medication that ensures that you gain the desired inches are having a field day. The hedonistic, materialistic life style that defines us has spawned a whole industry whose spin offs includes waxing, boob job, booty job, lip job, nose job, Botox, Steroids and enhancement etc. I read a poster once that indicated that enhancement was a process, not an event, so go with our product. The cheek of it all!

Basically, people are becoming genetically modified (GM) creatures. I knew there was something in them GM foods! That is why I am of the considered view that in classifieds as well as dating sites we may soon begin to move away from lonely hearts seeking love, Black girl seeking a Caucasian man, White girl seeking the Black athletic type, recently divorced seeking stable and reliable partner, older males/females on the look out for young, vibrant lovers … to people actually specifying that in addition to the usual honesty, reliability, sensitivity, companionship and the unspoken but implied fat back account, sexual prowess …, that interested persons should be wholly organic!

Let me break it down. Being organic means being exactly how God made you; warts and all - Fat legs, big hips, oblong face, curly hair, thick African lips, thin Caucasian lips, kinky African hair, curly black Indian hair, Chinese eyes, full colour (as in green, yellow, blue, indigo, orange and what have you) White eyes, receding hairline, bow legs, short, thin, fat, tall, Chinese ears, full African booty (as if on steroids), flat Caucasian and Japanese booty (as if they were hit by a plank), Jewish hooked nose, Black flat nose, White pointed nose, small, medium, large and XXXL body sizes. Warts is just a figure of speech, the Maker deliberately went for variety in body sizes and looks to deliberately spice up our lives. But when we become one-dimensional human beings; what is there to choose from?

Mark my words about specification for spouses and give me the credit when the world turns round to demand the organic. But then, am I also among the prophets?